Whom or what do you feel connected to? What does it take to form a connection?
Often when we encounter people, it is in our nature to compare - it is primal to preserve the self by noticing differences in the other. It is commonplace to take note and point out what sets one another a part and to join in on what is familiar or more “like us.”
And yet, it is also in our nature to connect. We are inherently social beings. We thrive in community. We naturally form relationships. We are made to love and be loved.
So what happens when you take people from different walks of life? From different countries, backgrounds, histories, cultures, ethnicities, religions, ages, genders. People with different stories and belief systems.
Well, you get connection. Especially from this particular group of people.
Recently, we discovered some of us in the group can be a bit competitive (yes, myself included). Among the “+4’s” and endless “Skips” of a rousing game of Uno, we bantered and laughed like longtime friends. Who knew a little competition could connect us in such a strong way?
As I reflect on the first half of our trip, I am drawn to this word connection in so many ways:
Ghanaians’ deep, deep connection to their ancestors, to Mother Earth and nature, to music & storytelling. Each of these aspects unites the person with who they are and with those around them. We have been so welcomed into - and thus connected - to these, moving from visitors to a connected community together. As I type this, I am riding a bus along a bumpy road, watching palm trees & fruit stands fly by while being surrounded by the sound of voices joining together in song with castanets & drumming, and of course, laughter. You can get a sense of this connection I am referring to.
We are connected to our communities back home, constantly thinking about how we can bring what we are learning into our own classrooms, offices, relationships, curriculum. How we can share our experiences and celebrate the beautiful deep-rooted culture of Ghana and West Africa and all we can learn from it.
We are connected to our families and friends who support us - who are thinking about and praying for us, who donated so we could help provide some areas of need. My own community responded to the call by donating feminine products which can often be inaccessible and unaffordable for Ghanaians, something we often take for granted. My grandparents, who always jump at a chance to help support me and others, donated the markers, colored pencils, pens, & crayons that I shared with the students I was blessed to share a lesson with.
Our group in particular, whether through competitive Uno games or being hyper aware of each others’ needs and offering to share our own personal pharmacies that each person brought, or in not being afraid to ask questions of one another, or joining of different voices and harmonies are connected.
Before the trip, our group chose the Adinkra symbol “Ese ne Tekrema” - the teeth and the tongue - to represent our cohort.
Just as the teeth and the tongue coexist in harmony in the mouth, so do we strive to. Many of us have maybe experienced the sharp sudden pain when you accidentally bite your tongue. This can happen too in groups. When humans are in community there is bound to be tension and friction. This symbol reminds us of how we can exist within that.
When we connect with someone, we recognize and affirm their value even among the differences that exist. We see them as human beings just like us. We say, “I see you. I hear you. I value and recognize you.”
On our very first day, Professor Asare Opoku shared with us about peacemaking and proverbial wisdom of Africa. He explained the beautiful way Ghanaians welcome others - Akwaaba - a word that acknowledges and affirms another’s humanity, recognizes that there is shared space and time. You are bringing into existence the recognition of that person’s worth and dignity.
We also learned about the Baobab tree - there is a saying that no single person can encircle the trunk with his or her arms alone. There is no one person or one way of thinking.
When we connect, we begin to see the worth and value of each person. We learn from each other. We utilize our strengths to lift up others and allow others to lift us up too. We become a community, a family.
By Meghan Doyle, DEIB Director & Teacher of Theology, Notre Dame Preparatory School, Towson, Maryland